This is a post in a series of spam responses I’m doing after creating a new domain for my website. After receiving a flood of sales calls and emails, I’m deciding to have some fun.
Their website is so good, it will melt your computer lol which is they we don’t link to it!!!1
Out of respect for your time, I thought an email might be less disruptive than an unannounced phone call. We noticed you recently registered “da-wedding-site.com” so thought of reaching out you.
We have been designing and developing customer-friendly websites for more than 5 years and have managed to live up to the growing expectations of our respective clientele. We believe that a good design always pays off in the long run and helps you attract the attention of your target audience, which eventually converts into ascending sales.
We are a reputed web design and development company offering business-specific solutions to our clients who are scattered all over the world. Over the past few years, we have helped hundreds of clients in having a distinct web presence. Our services include:
- Responsive websites on WordPress, Joomla! and Drupal
- Responsive eCommerce websites on Magento, Prestashop and Shopify
- Custom Web Applications
- Custom Mobile Applications
- Specialized Quality Assurance Solutions
If you want to have a new website or you want to revamp your existing website to make it more search engine friendly, we are the right company. Reply to this email, and we will get back to you with industry-specific solutions.
Because Ken was so incredibly respectful of my time I wrote him a very detailed response:
hi ken thank you SO MUCH for respecting my time i was thinking about your enticing offer and your reputed website development company and i have some great ideas on websites ok so here they are idea 1 a website that gives people seizures when they visit whether or not they are epilptic funny rite? 2 a website that makes people CRAP THEY?RE PANTSS!! omg my friends would go crazy it would go VIRAL and i could put ads on it and make a million dollars which reminds me can you build the websites first and then after i get the million dollars THEN i can pay you after? k cool thx so idea 3 a website that when you go to it you hold the computer up to a wall and you cna SEE THROUGH THE WALL ON THE SCREEN like xmen and i want to put the xmen logo on it but if i get sued i can tell them you guys did it not me (ur insured rite??) next idea 4 is a website that you put in your bank acct # and it sends you $5 wouldnt that be great like everyone would use that every day including me free $5 rite?!! lol yeah so idea 5 is a website where you click a button and the computer starts to LEVITATE and you can sit on it and you are basically flying and you can go places ON TOP OF YOUR COMPUTER and when you get there and ur like “omg i need to check my email” boom your computer is RIGHT THERE UNDER YOU y has no 1 thought of this people are dumb i guess lol so i have more ideas but im going to hold off for now since i need you to confirm you can build these ideas for free up front hereto notwithstanding forgoing payments etc and then i pay after the work is done and my websites sell for big bucks and i also dont want your reputed company to steal my amzaing ideas so plz sign the attached nda and we can talk business kkthx
<attached an actual NDA>
Really looking forward to getting some of these exciting ideas off the ground. Sometimes the best way to market is to solve a very difficult technical problem, such as levitation. Surely Ken will deliver. After all, he does work for a very reputed web design and development company offering business-specific solutions.